This really happened! I'm not even kidding!
So I was at the grocery store the other day trying to find the allspice, minding my own business, when I hear a blood curdling scream from the next aisle.
At first I didn't know what to do, I froze. Then another scream and the power shuts off. Now it's pitch dark and I'm fumbling around trying to find my purse, spices were falling off the shelf and breaking open on the floor filling the air with powerful aromas, I found my purse and pulled out my penlight. Now what?
Should I go to the next aisle? It's the juice aisle I think and who knows what I might find there.
The onion powder was about to make me sneeze so I move. I'm at the end cap now. I realize how eerily quiet it is. There aren't any clerks or other customers around, at least, I don't think so. Then I hear it, a muffled cry and an odd scratching that reminds me of my cat Tinker sharpening her claws on my 5000 dollar leather armchair.
I'm terrified but I muster up all the courage I have left and turn the corner. A bone chilling scream rips through the dark!!! Then I realize the scream is coming from my mouth. Silence. My penlight pierces the black like a needle in a piece of fabric. I can barely make out what appears to be a hand, followed by an arm and then a body. It's a woman, Hispanic maybe, with blond hair and a terrible shade of orange lipstick. She is laying a pool of blood! I can't help but think it could have been a better shade then that awful orange.
This is worse then I thought. I'll have to leave my cart full of carefully selected produce. It's a good thing I packed my Magnum .357. I whip it out of it's holster and inch my way along the boxes of bags of juice. I hate those things, the stupid straw never goes in without having to squeeze the bag so hard that it squirts liquid all over my new white shirt. Hum, they're on sale.
Something or perhaps someone catches my attention away from the juice, there, at the end of the aisle. I shine my penlight down the row and ...(to be continued)
At first I didn't know what to do, I froze. Then another scream and the power shuts off. Now it's pitch dark and I'm fumbling around trying to find my purse, spices were falling off the shelf and breaking open on the floor filling the air with powerful aromas, I found my purse and pulled out my penlight. Now what?
Should I go to the next aisle? It's the juice aisle I think and who knows what I might find there.
The onion powder was about to make me sneeze so I move. I'm at the end cap now. I realize how eerily quiet it is. There aren't any clerks or other customers around, at least, I don't think so. Then I hear it, a muffled cry and an odd scratching that reminds me of my cat Tinker sharpening her claws on my 5000 dollar leather armchair.
I'm terrified but I muster up all the courage I have left and turn the corner. A bone chilling scream rips through the dark!!! Then I realize the scream is coming from my mouth. Silence. My penlight pierces the black like a needle in a piece of fabric. I can barely make out what appears to be a hand, followed by an arm and then a body. It's a woman, Hispanic maybe, with blond hair and a terrible shade of orange lipstick. She is laying a pool of blood! I can't help but think it could have been a better shade then that awful orange.
This is worse then I thought. I'll have to leave my cart full of carefully selected produce. It's a good thing I packed my Magnum .357. I whip it out of it's holster and inch my way along the boxes of bags of juice. I hate those things, the stupid straw never goes in without having to squeeze the bag so hard that it squirts liquid all over my new white shirt. Hum, they're on sale.
Something or perhaps someone catches my attention away from the juice, there, at the end of the aisle. I shine my penlight down the row and ...(to be continued)
posted by anna at 2:42 PM
7 Comments:
I can't wait until the next chapter!! I hope, at some point in the story, you get the opportunity to thow spices in someones eyse :)
you know, i met with some students today and had them write me a paragraph about their worst day. one student wrote about how he was so angry that he jumped out of his window with his parachute only there was a bobcat down on the ground but luckily he had his paint ball gun with him and he shot it but then he fell or something and somehow ended up on his zipline and splashing into his pool! your experience in the store sorta reminds me of this.
Hmmmm, that's interesting.
A zip line huh?
I'm going in for military training in a couple of weeks and we'll be training on the zipline.
Maybe this kid could give me some pointers.
Any particular spice Jeff?
Anyway, I can only tell it like it happened. I don't like to make stuff up. Then people wouldn't believe me.
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Well, since you can't make stuff up, don't worry about it then. I was thinking chili-pepper though. I know it hurts like a son-of-a-gun because I got some in my eyes once. I was at Craig's Cruisers on the go-karts and the guy in front of me emptied about 1/2 bottle in the air and I caught it in the eyes. Needless to say...he won that particular race.
Are you serious!
I would have been so steaming mad!
What a dork. If you need to win that bad at something so trivial you seriously need counseling.
I'm just sooo glad you survived to tell us about this! I can't believe you didn't share this grocery store excitement with me at work! Humph! But you know, I think I like it better this way - the suspense is really getting to me...who killed her? Where'd she get the lipstick? What's at the end of the aisle? Ohhh, I can hardly wait to find out!
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